The Proverbial Wall

Yup.

I've hit it.

I hit it HARD this morning.

I was sitting here litterally crying to my co-worker (who is also my work out buddy) that it's getting so hard to keep doing this.

Every time I hit this point, this is where I quit.

Why?

I have no clue.

Could be the little voice of my hubby in the back of my head that nags me saying "You'll never finish...you never do".

Could be fear of finally getting to goal, then what do I have to strive for?

Could be my body telling me "I hate you for making me work so hard"

Or it could be just the fact that it's getting near that time of month.

Who knows.

All I know is that if I don't make it past it this time, I'm officially just going to give up for good.  It's been over 19 years that I have yo-yo'd.  19 YEARS. 

But, I can't give up.  I have a great support system - at least here at work.  Even if Michael doesn't get it.  Or my kids.  At least Nellie and Jane and Ginny and Jane get it. 

But do I get it?

That's the biggest question.  Because if I don't get it and this is not for me, then what really is the point?

I didn't go to hip hop last night and I should have.  I have no excuse.  I AM going to run my intervals this afternoon.....then do step class with Nellie, then walk with Jody if it's not raining.

Tomorrow is the big class day....weight lifting (LOVE that class), Core class (abs/lower body) then BELLY DANCE...if there ever was a class I would marry, it would be belly dance, lol.

Ok, at least I'm partially laughing by the end of this post.  Let's see if I can get myself out of this funk....